My story: By Ogechi Njoku.
MY VISION IS MY DRIVING FORCE:
I was born into the family of Eight Children, and I was the last
born but unfortunately I lost Seven of my Senior Siblings, making me an
only child.
I lost my father too, as a child, hence I was singlehandedly trained by my mother.
My mother was a petty trader who hawks on different seasonal fruits,
ranging from oranges, avocado peers, banana, etc and when in out of
season, she trades on kola nuts.
While growing up, I watch my
mother cries every night, her pains was greater than I could imagine, I
couldn't proffer solution, all I could say then whenever she cries was
"Aunty ndo kwanu" (Aunty sorry) yes, I calls my mother Aunty till date.
The pains of losing her Seven Children one after the other to the cold
hands of death was excruciatingly great to her heart, to a point she
almost lost hope that she had me. At any little experience, she would
wish she wasn't living, she often makes reference to them.
I grew
up as a very stubborn child, my stubbornness and street fight always
makes her remember her late children, she felt if they were alive, my
excesses would have be tamed by them. So I kept hearing her making
references to what the dead children would have been to her, her pains
birthed my VISION. Gradually, I started feeling her pains too, even as a
growing teenage who doesn't know what future holds for her, I assured
her and reassured her each time she cries that "I WILL BE TO HER, WHAT
THE SEVEN DEAD CHILDREN WOULD HAVE BEEN TO HER".
My growing up
was liken unto hell, I would hawk from 6am-9am before going home to
prepare for school, immediately after school, I would hit the street
again to hawk, that was our only source of livelihood, the proceeds were
used for our feeding and my school fees and books, during holidays, my
effort triples. My Hawking experience became bitter when I was
deflowered by raped at 16, in 1996, I lost my virginity. Nothing could
be done to the guy who did it because his father was the chairman of one
of the local government in IMO state then, so my mother dare not raise
such accusations against the high and mighty. My experience became more
bitter when I was raped for the second time by gangs of men in pretence
of trying to buy my market, they successful cornered me and over powered
me at Ekeonunwa market Owerri. I hated hawking, my passion for
education grew, my dream to become someone influential and rich grew, my
vision for life became my burning desire. I was determined by quest to
take care of my mother and make her proud, hence I wasn't ready to
allow any challenges deter it. I kept pushing on.
I had a vision
to be great, and rich. I was passionate about education, the fact that I
didn't have who would see me through my academics didn't make me loose
hope.
After my secondary education in 1997, I journeyed to Lagos
in 1998, life was hell, at a point, I lived in an uncompleted building
for over a year without anyone knowing that someone lives in there,
because I would leave there as early as 4 am to go to where I worked as
sales girl with a salary of 3,000 and would come home very late, the
supermarket I worked for, used to close by 10pm, before I would get
home, it would be 11pm.
When I had a change of work, I worked
for Linar Pharmacy at Salvation road Opebi, Ikeja. Seeing my boss
children who were schooling at University of Lagos, my enthusiasm for
education and good life intensifies the more. I reassured myself of my
dreams of becoming a graduate. Then I knew I won't just sit down and
dream, I need to take an action but the nature of the job am doing and
where I live was my stumbling block, but I took a decision to enroll
into computer school, hence I changed my job of a sales girl to a
cleaner, so that I could attend my computer school.
While in
computer school at Allen avenue, Ikeja, I became very close to one of my
course mate "Late Akpa Elina Odachi" (may her soul Rest in Peace) whose
father was a Soldier and mother was a mobile Police Officer, they were
living in Sam Ethan Air force Base, Ikeja. She noticed that I was living
in an uncompleted building, and sought to know why, I explained, she
highlighted the dangers of me staying in there, should area boys became
aware. So she suggested to take me to her parents in the barracks, that
was how my how my journey to the barracks started. Her parents accepted
me, I became a member of their lovely family. Her friends became my
friends too, life became sweet.
Life in the barracks was sweet
till I started dating a Soldier, pregnancy came, children came, no
marriage, the sweetness of my soul was taken away, I was abused both by
the father of my kids and his relatives. I was abandoned, in fact the
soldier worked his posting out, that was how I started Hawking again,
joined cleaning work to it, to sustain myself and kids, in 2005 I
decided to become a soldier through recruit, I bought the Air Force
form, took my kids home to my mother. It was in the course of medicaI
screening, they found out that I was pregnant again for my soldier
boyfriend again, hence I was dropped. All hope to good life were lost.
My soldier friend still insisted that there will be no marriage, even if
I born king David, and me, I love children, I saw them as brothers even
though they were my children.
My suffering was raised to
powered to three, the sisters of the father of my kids would mock me,
each time they saw me Hawking oranges in the street of Oshodi, Lagos or
they saw me sweeping the blocks of barracks, my sight was irrigating to
them, they hated me with passion, they concluded that I wanted to
entangled their younger brother with pregnancy to gain marriage, they
were all graduates, I was just a waec holder, cum an orange seller and a
cleaner. The disparities between us were much, the gap was too much,
they saw nothing good in me but the ability to get pregnant and have
children. Their constant mockery was a reminder to my ambitions.
In 2007, I doubled my cleaning work alongside my Hawking business with
the view of saving more money to go to school even if it is on part time
bases. I would sweep the barracks and wash the gutters from 4am - 5:30
am, moved straight to oshodi market to buy my oranges before 6:30am,
then prepare before 7:30 am to Pacific Access Limited, to clean their
office, by 9am I am through with all cleaning work, I would go home,
rest till 12pm, then wash my oranges, and hit the streets for my Hawking
business. Some days, I would make sales ranges from 3,000-5,000 per
day, then get monthly salary of 5,000 for cleaning the barracks, also
5,000 from cleaning Pacific Access limited office at no 4 Anike Apena
street, off Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way, Ikeja, Lagos. Sometimes in a
month I do have savings from incomes ranges of 30,0000-40,000. My hope
for school started rising.
On August 29, 2007, i came to clean
office as usual, I found a Wednesday Punch newspaper on my boss table,
dated August 28, 2007, 1 flipped through the pages, I saw job
advertisement for junior staff with minimum of Diploma and must be
computer literate. I checked out for its location and organization, it
was Abuja, the Nigerian Society of Engineers, National Headquarters,
National Engineering Center. My instinct told me to apply, I came home
and told everyone, they all discouraged me, except one officer,
Warrant Officer Ogumuyiwa who encouraged me to try my luck. I did,
passed the aptitude test and interview and was given the job.
assumed office on 16th November, 2007, that was beginning of my
breakthrough. My dreams came true, I found favour among my colleagues,
Management Staff and the entire organization favored and blessed me. In
2009, I gained admission to study Financial Accounting at Fidie
Polytechnic Gboko, Benue state, I got my National Diploma in 2011, in
2012, I gained admission to study B. Sc. in Economics at University of
Ibadan, Oyo state through Direct Entry. My dreams to become a graduate
and take care of my mother came true against all odds, against all my
failures and challenges, I conquered my fears and dismay.
I
became a mother at age 22, a single mother of four children at age 28,
started higher institution at age 29, owned a car at age 31, became an
Oracle Database Certified Expert at 32, a landlady in Abuja at age 33, a
graduate of Economics 2015/2016 at 36, established BDMG Resources
Limited on 5th April, 2017, before my 37th Birthday. Currently writing
my ICAN and ACCA Professional Certification Exams. Above all, I am
still gainfully employed with the Nigerian Society of Engineers, "the
engine room of my breakthrough".
God is my all in all, His grace,
favour and mercy was sufficient unto me and my enabler, my mother is my
Rock, my children are my motivators, The Nigerian Society of Engineers
(The best Organization) was my strength, and MY VISION WAS MY DRIVE.
My only regret was becoming HIV positive, but I thank God that all my children are NEGATIVE and their father is also NEGATIVE.
Surviving the reality of living with HIV became my greatest challenge,
my worst nightmare, the thought was killing, the pains was
excruciatingly great, better imagine than experiencing.
HIV is a
management disease, and not a killer disease, it is the fear of
stigmatization and discrimination that leads to living in self
pity/denials which leads to AIDS, which is the killer. Fears,
Stigmatization, Discrimination and AIDS are undoubtedly and convincingly
the killer.
I conquered the FEARS (False Evidence Appears Real
Sufficiently). I became adherent to my ARV, today I am gladly living
positively healthy with my viral load undetectable and high CD4 count.
Join me to kill AIDS and reduce the spread of HIV to zero level by stopping Stigmatization and Discrimination.
Ogechi Stella Njoku © September 2, 2017